Mumbai Mahawar Vaish

Marriage Customs


‘Banias', they are the people involved in the business like banking, money- lending, or the people dealing with the selling of products like, grains, groceries, spices and oil. Most of the Jains and Hindus constitute the Bania community. Their marriages are celebrated at a very large scale with lavishing food and arrangements.Here are the marriage customs of Bania weding ceremony. The Bania's marriage date are supposed to be fixed by the parents during the time period of Kartika ie. 11th of October- November to Aashad, i.e. 11th of June- July

The Formal Engagement or Rokna

The tradition of a Rokna Ceremony is to symbolize coming together of the two families of the couple. Rokna literally meaning to stop in Hindi. It symbolizes that the search of the families or the individuals for their soulmate has stopped. During the actual ceremony, the bride-to-be’s father or an older male member of the family puts a tilak on the groom’s forehead. This is a gesture to accept and welcome the groom into the family. The groom is given some gifts and fed with laddoo, which is the favorite dessert of Lord Ganesha. Following this, the groom-to-be’s family presents the bride-to-be with gifts.

Teeka

The Teeka ceremony takes place on an auspicious day around the time of the wedding cerebration. It begins with a small puja being performed by the bride’s father and the groom. After that all the male members of the bride’s family do a tilak or a teeka on the groom’s forehead. It is a gesture to show their love, and respect towards the groom. The groom is given some gifts and is fed mithai. Members of the groom’s families may be presented with gifts, fruits and mithai.

Godh Bharai

Following the teeka ceremony, the bride is led by her siblings, cousins and friends to the function where her godh ceremony will be held. The groom’s family brings gifts, jewellery, shringar or make up, clothes and mithai for the bride in beautifully decorated trays and baskets. These gift items are placed in the bride’s jholi or lap. All of the gifts are signs of marital happiness and are considered shubh.

Mehendi

One of the most important pre-wedding ceremonies in Indian marriages is the mehendi ki raat. The beautiful bride-to-be adorns her hands and feet with striking designs made out of henna. As per the traditions, even the groom applies a bit of mehendi on his hands as well as feet. The entire ceremony is a fun-filled event with every family member and close friends of the bride and the groom being a part of it. But, apart from being a fun pre-wedding ritual, the mehendi ceremony also has a deep-rooted cultural significance to it. And, here we tell you all about the beautiful significance of mehendi in Indian marriages.

Significance of Mehendi

Mehendi represents the bond of matrimony and is therefore, considered a shagun (sign of good luck). It signifies the love and affection between the couple and their families.

Here are some popular beliefs that are associated with this tradition:

  • The darkness of the mehendi colour on a bride’s hand represents the deep love between the would-be-couple.
  • The mehendi's colour also shows the love and understanding between the bride and her mother-in-law.
  • The longer the mehendi retains its colour, the more auspicious it is for the newly weds.
  • Mehendi is also deemed to be a symbolic representation of fertility.

Vivah Haat

After all preparation its time for the custom called Vivah Haat. On this occasion a formal invitation to the Devtas are given. On this occasion at broom’s residence 4 married ladies ties 7 knot in Mauli (kind of thread used in Puja) to prepare satnala and at bride’s place 7 married women prepares 7-7 mangodis(of moong dal) .By this custom it is considered to start the further marriage procedures.

Laghana Lekhan

In Laghana Lekhan, a small puja is held in the prospective bride’s house. Close relatives and friends are invited to attend the puja. It is during this puja that an auspicious time for the rituals of the marriage also known as lagna or mahurat is determined. In the end, the formal wedding invitation and lagan patrika or letter indicating the wedding time is hand delivered to the groom’s family to formally invite them to the wedding.

Bhaat Notna

In this tradition the mother of the bride goes to her brother’s house to invite him for Bhaat, which is a simple North Indian meal consisting of rice and lentils with sugar, and gives him a formal invitation to the wedding.

Bhaat

Bhaat is a very important wedding tradition. The Mama or the maternal uncles of the bride plays an important role in the wedding. The custom is, for the Mama to bestow lavish gifts on the bride. Upon receiving the invitation, the mama or bride’s maternal uncle brings gifts for her and her entire family. They are all welcomed inside the home with a teeka on their forehead by the bride’s mother. During this ritual, the bride is seated on a beautiful chauki (a short stool with four legs). She is then presented with all sorts of gifts, like clothes, and jewellery. She is adorned with the earrings, necklace, nose ring, bangles, anklets, and toe rings given to her by her mama and mami. There is a very valid reason for this tradition. Marwari Agarwal women are given lavish and generous gifts at their weddings. By and large traditionally, they do not make any further claims on their father's wealth. It automatically goes to her brothers. Therefore at the weddings of his niece/nephew, it is expected that the 'Mama' shows a great deal of generosity and plays a supportive role and can be depended upon to do the family proud. This ceremony, Bhaat is a confirmation of this support . It is conducted by the groom's family and the bride's family, in their respective homes.

Haldaat

This tradition is done at bride and groom place.In this tradition the idol of Lord Ganesha is installed on chauki (a small four legged stool).After that there is a tradition in which seven married women crush oats and moong using mortar and pestle.this grinded oats and moong is used in Tel Baan Tradition.

Tel Baan and Haldi

In the Tel Baan ceremony, the ladies on both sides ‘prepare’ the bride and groom (in each respective home) for the forthcoming wedding. This ritual usually happens on the day of the wedding, and in more traditional families, happens for a couple of days around the wedding time. At this ceremony, a paste made from herbs, mustard oil, fresh milk curds, henna and turmeric on the faces, arms and feet of the bride and the groom. All the ingredients for Tel Baan are separately put in bowls made of clay, put together in a plate. The ingredients are applied by the means of brushes made of grass. Family members take these grass brushes and dip them in the ingredients and apply it symbolically to their feet, knees, hands, shoulders and head seven times from bottom to top and then top to bottom. This is accompanied by some singing of folk songs. On the day of the wedding, in addition to the tel baan, the haldi ceremony is also held where ubatan or a paste made primarily of haldi or turmeric is rubbed on the bride. The thought is that haldi makes the bride glow. During the ceremony, the bride also gives a portion of the paste to her cousins and friends of marriageable age. After the ritual bath, the bride is dressed up with shringar and aarti is performed for her.

Kangana

On the day of the wedding, the bride and the groom, are also tied the kangana or sacred thread on their right wrists. The kangana is a red thread strung through iron chaaku (small iron knife for protection), turmeric sticks, supari (betel nut) and kaudis (shells). These are all symbols of good luck and to protect the bride and the groom from the evil eye or nazar.

Ganesha Puja

This puja marks the beginning of all wedding festivities and hence, starts with a Ganesha puja, which is performed by a pujari or priest. The significance of this puja is to ward off any evil and negate the effects of any deaths in the family, so that the marriage may take place without any obstacles.

Baraat

This ceremonial procession begins with the groom’s family blessing the groom and putting the turban on his head. This is known as Sehra Bandhi, and after this the groom mounts a decorated white mare. Along with his rejoicing friends and family, the entire Baraat proceeds to the wedding venue. The entire procession is very lively celebration full of music and dance.

Baraat Swaagat

The Baraat is welcomed by the bride’s family at the venue entrance. Typically the male members on bride’s side greet their counterparts in the groom’s family by welcoming them with garlands and embracing them. This is also known as Milni.

Aarti

Mother of the bride honors the groom by performing the traditional Aarti, where she blesses him. She also puts a teeka on the groom’s forehead and wards off evil eye from him.

Jai Mala

The bride, in all her finery, is escorted to the wedding mandap by her entourage amidst Vedic chants. First, the bride garlands the groom, accepting him as her husband, and the groom reciprocates.

Joota Chhupai

This is the fun part for bride’s sisters and brothers, where they steal the groom’s shoes once he sits for the puja. The shoes are only returned to the groom in exchange for a heavy ransom.

Kanyadaan

Kanyadaan is performed by the father of the bride in presence of a large gathering that is invited to witness the wedding. In this ceremony, the father gives away his daughter to the groom. A silver or gold coin is placed in the bride’s palms, which are held together by her father, who then places them in the hands of the groom. Amidst prayers, the pujari pours water over their joined hands and blesses them. The tradition of the groom taking the hand of the bride is also known as Pani Grahan or Hast Milap. As a condition for giving away his daughter for marriage, the father of the bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting the bride in realizing the three ends : dharma or living life righteously to attain moksha or salvation, artha or money to live life comfortably, and kama or never-ending love and loyalty. The groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he will not fail the bride in his commitment to her and her family.

Vachan

After Kanyadaan, the bride asks the groom for certain promises. She, still seated on the right hand side of the groom, asks him for seven vachan or promises which he is required to understand and agree to, in order to have the bride come to his left side and accept being his wife. The vows reiterate the importance of communication, love, and trust in the marriage. The groom agrees to abide by the vachan. He requests the bride for the same commitment. Once she answers in the affirmative, the bride goes over to the groom’s left where she seats herself. This signifies that from that day forward, she takes the place in and of his heart, which is on the left side of the body.

Gath Bandhan and Mangal Pheras

The wedding ceremony is performed in presence of the sacred fire or Agni. Offerings are made into the sacred fire as a form of thanksgiving and purification. The fire also represents the God and a witness or Sakshi to the couple’s marriage. The bride’s veil is tied to the grooms waist band, also known as Gath Bandhan. The couple goes around the fire seven times, repeating their wedding vows amidst the chanting of mantras. Following the pheras, vermilion powder or Sindoor is applied on bride’s forehead and Mangalsutra is put around her neck by the groom. This concludes the wedding rituals.

The seven vows in Pheras

  1. Faith in God forever.
  2. Promise of love, fidelity and compassion.
  3. Help each other in all good deeds.
  4. Be strong and righteous.
  5. Show love and goodwill to all the family members.
  6. Raise their children with values and high morals.
  7. Be welcoming and respectful to all guests and visitors.

Aashirwaad

Once the wedding rituals are completed, the couple touches the feet of their parents, elders and ask them for their blessings or Aashirwaad.

Vidaii

Bride leaves her parental home.This is a very emotional ceremony. The bride prepares to leave her parental home and go with her husband to his home. Invariably tears are shed by all. The bride gets envelopes of cash from all the elder member of her family. All the men of the brides family apply tilak to the groom and give him envelopes of cash. The couple leave in a car decorated with flowers.

Vadhu Pravesh

Bride enters her husbands home When the bahu-rani (daughter-in-law) arrives at her new home, she puts her right foot over the threshold of the house into a tray of vermilion powder symbolizing the arrival of good fortune. With both feet covered in red she now takes five steps and kicks over a vessel filled with rice and coins to symbolize fertility and wealth in her home. Of course there is some humor added to this solemn ceremony too… the bahu rani's sisters-in-law sit on the threshold of the house refuse to allow their brother to bring his new bride in unless he gives them some gifts or cash. He succumbs and is duly allowed to bring his young bride into the home!!! :)